Dealing with Anxiety and Depression
5 MINUTE READ • ANXIETY & DEPRESSION
Depression and anxiety are the most pervasive mental health concerns in the Western World. 18% of all people in the U.S. have an anxiety disorder and about 7 have a major depressive disorder (depression). Sadly, less than 40% of people with these concerns seek treatment of some kind, deciding to suffer in silence.
For those in your life with anxiety and depression, I like to keep it KIND:
Keep in touch, talk frequently, or just send your favorite memes. The more you engage, the better.
Identify the feelings and experiences that people are going through.
Notice changes in behavior and ask how you can support them.
Don’t shy away from those uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes people make sad or inappropriate jokes or will say sad things. it is okay to sit in those feelings with a friend.
Most importantly, if someone you know says something that worries you, call 9-1-1 or the crisis team. You cannot be someone’s everything but you can be by their side when they get help, if they need it.
Trigger Warning: The following story includes topics related to suicidal thoughts, physical and emotional abuse, in-patient behavioral health hospitalization, and other possible triggering themes.
My name is Chris, and I am a mental health survivor. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t dealing with anxiety and depression. There are long stretches in my life when I don’t really feel the effects of either, but it still lingers in my brain and body.
In 2017, I started experiencing some pretty aggressive anxiety symptoms. I would be seemingly fine and then becoming increasingly anxious to the point of nearly fainting. I decided it was time to go back to the doctor to find out what was going on. She ordered bloodwork and gave me some stronger depression-anxiety medication. Over the next few months, I saw little relief from anxiety and depression, even with the new medication. I can be stubborn, so I just tried to suck it up. This, looking back, was probably the worst thing I could have done for my mental and physical health.
While driving in the Spring of 2018, I had a massive anxiety-panic attack, and I didn’t know what to do. I considered my options: pulling to the side of the road, finding an ER nearby, or just try to make it to my destination. I decided on the latter. When I arrived, I was still in the midst of the panic attack and headed right for the couch. I was shaking, it was hard to breathe, I couldn't think right. Thankfully, I had my medication for anxiety with me. I took the pill and started calming down after around 30 minutes or so. The person I was with didn’t really know what to do, other than to comfort me. Luckily, this is the best thing you can do for someone experiencing a panic attack.
This was on a Sunday, so I called in sick to work on Monday and went to go see my doctor. She referred me to a psychiatrist and told me to take a few days off work and focus on relaxing and feeling better. I called the psychiatrist and set their earliest appointment available - three weeks out. I was frustrated, but there was seemingly no way around that. I went back to work that Thursday and Friday, feeling a bit better.
That Saturday, my husband and I decided to go out and get some lunch. While eating at the restaurant, I was overcome with negative and suicidal thoughts and panic once more. I started crying, which is totally abnormal for me. We immediately left and went home.
While he drove me home, I started googling behavioral health hospitals. I felt like I needed to see a doctor, and fast. I felt like my life was slipping through my fingers. I was miserable, terrified, and started feeling hopeless. I found a Banner Behavioral Health emergency center in Scottsdale. Soon after we got home from the restaurant, I decided it was time to take action and go to the hospital.
The hospital waiting room was similar to a doctor’s office or a small ER. There was an intake nurse that asked a few questions. After speaking with the ER Psychiatrist, they strongly recommended I admit myself into the hospital.
I didn’t have anything with me other than the clothes I had on. I couldn’t bring my phone, no shoes or clothing with laces, nothing. That was scary to me, especially as I use my phone as a coping mechanism. But I needed help, so I obliged and admitted myself to their care. In hindsight, this was the best decision I could have made for myself at that time.
Thankfully, since I really only needed immediate care, my stay in the hospital was only four days. In those four long days, I had a private room with 24-7 monitoring. They check on you every hour-ish so sleep is challenging. For the first two days, I wasn’t able to leave the secured environment, much like a prison. Until I wasn’t seen as a threat to myself or others, I was locked up.
Throughout the day, we had several activities such as group therapy, meetings with the psychiatrist, TV time, art therapy, and more. Once a day, you could have visitors for a short period of time. Thankfully, my mom and husband came to visit those couple of days I was able to have them. They helped me stay focused on getting better. Upon release, I was put on short-term disability from work and was immediately put into an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) through Banner for Anxiety Depression and PTSD. It was time to heal.
The IOP I participated in was a group that met for 2-3 hours, 3-4 days a week for 12 weeks. We covered all aspects of self-care strategies to deal with negative self-talk, tools to use to combat panic attacks, etc. I met several wonderful people from all walks of life in that group. I learned about what other people go through, their tragedies, trials, and tribulations. It was definitely an eye-opener.
One thing I learned in that group was to never assume someone is OK just because they act OK. People with mental health issues are usually the best actors. I also learned that it is OK to talk about your feelings. Everyone deals with stuff - some harder than others. I wish everyone could experience group therapy once in their lifetime. I will certainly never forget that experience.
Once I graduated from the IOP, it was time to go back to work. Within a month of returning, I decided to leave my current job and join the Grad Solutions family. My previous work environment was borderline toxic. Grad Solutions was a huge breath of fresh air. I felt renewed and revitalized in my goals and aspirations. My husband and I also decided to move away from my old childhood home - rife with memories of abuse growing up with an alcoholic father.
It has now been over two years since that hospitalization and IOP experience. I still deal with intermittent anxiety and depression, but I now have a new set of tools, great support system, and I understand that it’s OK to have those feelings. I am thriving with a renewed outlook of hope and purpose. The lesson of this story is that regardless of how it appears, anyone can be dealing with mental health issues. That doesn’t mean they are flawed. I think of my crisis moment a few years ago as a bad car accident. I went to the hospital, had to be off of work for a while, and got rehabilitated. I have some lingering effects, but I am OK.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. That doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger!
CHRIS DICKINSON
Chris Dickinson is Grad Solutions’ Executive Director of Corporate Marketing and Recruitment. Chris has worked in the education field since 2004 focusing primarily on programs and policies designed for disconnected opportunity youth. An Arizona native, Chris earned his degree in Visual Communications, Marketing, and Graphic Design in 2001. As the Executive Director of Corporate Marketing & Recruitment, Chris oversees multiple groups within the corporate suite of organizations.